As a Mormon convert, Cora Evans and her family suffered many humiliations. Not all of them came from her Mormon family, friends, and neighbors though plenty did. Her Mormon friends and family largely rejected them and made life difficult for them. Her husband, Mack, had a challenging time holding down a job in a town where the vast majority of people were Mormon and everyone knew that the Evans family had converted. Unfortunately, these were not the only difficulties the family endured. Fellow parishioners at St. Joseph’s Church made derogatory comments about the poverty of the Evans family (a poverty that was largely brought on by their conversion), nosy old ladies questioned Cora about innocent mentions of her mystical experiences, and the parish priest, though kind, did not truly encourage Cora to explore the depths of the spiritual life. The Evans family endeavored to ingratiate themselves into the Catholic culture of Ogden, Utah but struggled. 

In her currently unpublished spiritual autobiography, Captain of the Ship, Cora details one particularly jarring experience she had of feeling like an outsider in her new Catholic community. She is invited to a card party at a fellow parishioners house by the parish priest. Raised as strict Mormons, Cora and Mack Evans were taught the the playing of cards was expressly forbidden and sinful.  

I knew not the cards and I knew not how to play a game.

I had been taught that a deck of cards was the devil’s bible.

I shuddered with the thought—

And I said aloud, “What price faith?

Is this part of the price to have the gift of Him in the Blessed Sacrament?”

I believed in His gift to us—I would believe in His presence even if

everything in the Church were proven marred.

I shuddered with the thought of what my people would say if they

learned that I had stooped to playing cards.

With broken heart I dressed for the card party. 

Captain of the Ship, 249.

 Cora worked up courage to overcome her reservations about going to a card party but was shaken by the experience which was so very foreign to her. She witnessed the other card players swear and get angry by the simple loss of a game or by a bad hand. This was confusing to Cora - why did they take the game so seriously? Part of the party was the consuming of cocktails, another experience expressly forbidden to Mormons. 

Shock after shock was mine because of my Puritan ignorance.

Then a few cocktails were served.438

I was horror-stricken—did not these people have a conscience?

I knew they had received our Lord, were they not afraid?

Did they not know they were His tabernacles?

Captain of the Ship, 251.

Seeing Cora’s distress and confusion at the party, the priest tries to offer some words of encouragement to Cora. But she is not very convinced she will find like-minded friends at St. Joseph’s in Ogden.  

The priest said, “I regret that I asked you to this party.

I want to assure you that you will find women who will suit your

customs in this great Church of ours.

Are you afraid to go home in the dark?”

I answered, “No, the darkness outside does not compare with the

darkness of disillusionment.”

Captain of the Ship, 252. 

After she returns home from the card party Cora is given words of comfort from Our Lord, who is almost exclusively referred to in Captain of the Ship as the Master. 

she heard the Master say,

“Heed the words of Paul, ‘Aim at charity, yet strive after the spiritual

gifts.’439

It is seldom that any merit comes from cards and wine,

For patience is lost and heart-anger curses and yet the face smiles—

Charity is lost and time is lost—merit is gone.

Strive for the spiritual gifts.”

Captain of the Ship, 253. 

Jesus comforts Cora with the words of St. Paul that she should remain charitable towards her fellow parishioners, even if she does not approve of their leisure time activities. She does not have to participate in them, but she does need to remain charitable towards those around her. She was struggling to do this while so horrified at the party. Our Lord assures her the better part is to be found in striving after the spiritual gifts rather than earthly pleasures. This is not to say that innocent enjoyment of earthly pleasures is always and everywhere a bad thing. Everyone has a need for recreation, but it is the spirit in which they are done (Cora’s experience was not the most charitable on either side) that is important. 

I share this story of Cora’s as an example that whether you are a cradle Catholic or you are a convert, sometimes people feel out of place in their parish or around fellow Catholics. As a Mormon convert, Cora Evans was baffled by the amusements of her fellow parishioners. As a cradle Catholic I became increasingly uncomfortable in my home parish after I went to college and discovered more about the traditions of the Church. I heard Gregorian chant and polyphony for the first time and wondered why my parish always sang the same five saccharine hymns. At 18 I began wearing a veil as a private devotional practice of my own volition and had old women coming up to me worried that I didn’t know that it wasn’t required anymore. I was busy studying the history of the Church and Sacred Art and was disappointed by the lackluster stained glass, carpet, and felt banners when I came back to my home parish. 

There are many reasons why someone might feel out of place even in the place they are meant to belong: in the Church. This is not reason, however, for leaving the Church or questioning your faith. Sometimes the people around us are genuinely ignorant. Sometimes the people around us are genuinely rude and stuck in their own mindset. But a negative experience with fellow parishioners or even with clergy at one particular parish ought not to dictate our faith in Jesus Christ. 

Despite her struggles Cora Evans managed to help many other Mormons convert to the true Faith at St. Joseph’s parish. She did not make deep friendships with many other parishioners there but once her family moved to California she found many like-minded friends who were striving after Jesus with all that they had. I no longer attend my childhood parish but now attend a more traditional parish where beauty and glory is found not only in the Church externals but also in the hearts of the people who long to serve the Sacred Heart of Jesus in all that they do. If you, too, find yourself wondering if you are in the right parish or among the right Catholic friends turn to Our Lord for guidance and remember that no matter what situation you might be in that Jesus is faithful and is the Captain of the Ship. He will always lead the faithful to Himself.