At this point in the school year, during my time as a teacher in Catholic schools, I could easily distinguish between children that came from faithful and devoted Catholic families with active, attentive parents from children who did not have these advantages. I knew that no matter how eloquently I spoke or how well-crafted my lesson plans were, I could never vie for the educational influence of these parents, whether for good or for ill. Now as a mother myself, this duty and ability to educate and form my children is weighty, but I take hope in that this is one of the duties given to me in the sacrament of my marriage. 

The Catechism of the Catholic Church declares that: “The fecundity of conjugal love cannot be reduced solely to the procreation of children, but must extend to their moral education and their spiritual formation… The right and the duty of parents to educate their children are primordial and inalienable. Parents have the first responsibility for the education of their children” (CCC 2221, 2223). Although this responsibility can weigh heavily on us as we contemplate the precious and eternal souls that have been briefly entrusted to us, parents can take solace in the grace that comes through the sacrament of marriage, the sacrament that endows us with this responsibility: “Through the grace of the sacrament of marriage, parents receive the responsibility and privilege of evangelizing their children” (CCC 2225). Holding a place above all other types of education, this applies especially to education in the Faith: “Parents should initiate their children at an early age into the mysteries of the faith of which they are the "first heralds" for their children. They should associate them from their tenderest years with the life of the Church… Education in the faith by the parents should begin in the child's earliest years. This already happens when family members help one another to grow in faith by the witness of a Christian life in keeping with the Gospel. Family catechesis precedes, accompanies, and enriches other forms of instruction in the faith. Parents have the mission of teaching their children to pray and to discover their vocation as children of God” (CCC 2225, 2226). What a noble mission that has been entrusted to each and every parent! 

Pope St. John Paul II expanded on these themes in his encyclical, Familiaris Consortio, an impactful read for anyone who is engaged, even tangentially, in family life. In it, he begins by affirming that marriage is the foundation of a family, since the aim of married life is towards the forming of children: “According to the plan of God, marriage is the foundation of the wider community of the family, since the very institution of marriage and conjugal love are ordained to the procreation and education of children, in whom they find their crowning” (FC 14). By creating a child out of love, parents must then take on the responsibility of caring for this new person (FC 36). The highest order of care must be given to their formation so as not to hinder in God’s plan of salvation for the child. It is not the parents’ formation that will gain the child’s salvation, but this formation must point the child towards the right path, not standing in the way, but pushing them further on God’s path of salvation in their lives through knowledge, habits, and growth in virtue, among others. In God’s plan for marriage and parenthood, He arranged so that there is no substitute in education for parental love: “The right and duty of parents to give education is essential, since it is connected with the transmission of human life; it is original and primary with regard to the educational role of others, on account of the uniqueness of the loving relationship between parents and children; and it is irreplaceable and inalienable, and therefore incapable of being entirely delegated to others or usurped by others” (FC 36). No one can replace a parent’s role in the education of their children. It is something that can only be completely fulfilled by a parent, although Pope St. John Paul II will go on to discuss the importance of others in the community taking a role, albeit a lesser one, in the formation and education of children. 

For those parents, who, like myself, begin to quake about the knees reading about the irreplaceable role and responsibility I have to the children God has given to me, take heart. Because this role has been given to us by God, He will also provide the grace for us to complete it: “For Christian parents the mission to educate… has a new specific source in the sacrament of marriage, which consecrates them for the strictly Christian education of their children: that is to say, it calls upon them to share in the very authority and love of God the Father and Christ the Shepherd, and in the motherly love of the Church, and it enriches them with wisdom, counsel, fortitude and all the other gifts of the Holy Spirit in order to help the children in their growth as human beings and as Christians. A vivid and attentive awareness of the mission that they have received with the sacrament of marriage will help Christian parents to place themselves at the service of their children's education with great serenity and trustfulness, and also with a sense of responsibility before God, who calls them and gives them the mission of building up the Church in their children” (FC 38). 

Do not fear the greatness of this vocation, but follow God in faithfulness and trust, aware of your responsibilities and incapability of fulfilling them on your own. He and His Mother will fill the gaps in your own parenting.