American society has become increasingly informal in almost every regard, and our knowledge of the appropriate manners of address for the members of the clergy has, likewise, followed suit. Most Catholics, even those of goodwill, will likely struggle to remember how to properly address a clergyman in person, and in the event of a wedding or other occasion, may not even know that there is a formula for addressing these guests. While it may seem a little outdated and awkward to use the correct forms of address, it is important for us to remember that these titles are material reminders that these men are set apart. It should be no more awkward than referring to your physician as “Doctor,” or your father’s sister as “Aunt”; they are reminders of who these people are and what they do. 

Ordination season is quickly approaching, and there might be some wonderful young men in your life who will be gaining or changing titles. You might find yourself face to face with the Bishop of your diocese at the reception following an ordination and discover that you never actually learned the appropriate way to address a bishop, and so you awkwardly avoid any actual address and just fall short of saying, “Hey,…you!” You may even be very, very fortunate and find yourself in Rome this summer, with our new pope, and be able to speak with him at a Wednesday address. Would you know how to address him? You can’t say, “Hey, you!” to the Holy Father! Regardless of where you go this summer, keep this in your back pocket (or in your tabs) so you can always reference it should the need arise. Whether you’ve got a wedding invitation to address to Father Joe or you’re interviewing a cardinal for your upcoming book on Pope Francis, it’s good to know how the proper ways to refer to and address the members of the clergy.

How to address a Deacon

If you are speaking to a Deacon

The formal method of address is to call him “Deacon [Last Name]” 

If you are writing to a Deacon

The formal method of address is “Reverend Mister [Last Name]” or “Rev. Mr. [Last Name]”

How to address a Priest

If you are speaking to a Priest

The formal method of address is to call him “Father [Last Name]”

If you are writing to a Priest

The formal method of address is “The Reverend Father [Last Name]”

How to address a Monsignor

If you are speaking to a Monsignor

The formal method of address is to call him “Monsignor [Last Name]. 

If you are writing to a Monsignor

The formal method of address is “The Very Right Reverend Monsignor [Last Name]” or “The Reverend Monsignor [Last Name]”

How to address a Bishop

If you are speaking to a Bishop

The formal method of address is to call him “Your Excellency”

If you are writing to a Priest

The formal method of address is “The Most Reverend [First and Last Name], Bishop of [Diocese].”

How to address a Cardinal

If you are speaking to a Cardinal

The formal method of address is to call him “Your Eminence”

If you are writing to a Cardinal

The formal method of address is “His Eminence, [First Name Cardinal Last Name], Archbishop of [Diocese]” (Note: the word “Cardinal” goes in between the first and last names)

How to address the Pope

If you are speaking to the Pope

The formal method of address is to call him “Holy Father,” or “Your Holiness,” or “Most Holy Father”

If you are writing to the Pope

The formal method of address is “His Holiness, Pope __________________”

Traditionally, there are conventions for how to behave in the presence of clergymen. For example, in the presence of a priest, bishop, cardinal, or the Holy Father, one should stand when he enters the room and remain standing until he invites you to sit. Men should remove their hats in his presence. If you are meeting your own bishop, it is customary to kneel on your left knee and kiss his ring as a sign of respect for his office. If you are meeting a cardinal, it is likewise customary to kneel on your left knee and kiss his ring as a sign of respect for his office. If you should be so fortunate as to have an audience with the Holy Father, you must do the same. If you are a woman, you should approach him dressed in black and wearing a black mantilla or scarf. 

Remember that even beneath the glorious offices they hold, priests are human beings, too. We must approach them with respect and reverence, yes, but I’ve found that a smile and some warmth is usually fitting for these interactions. Do not hold your arms out for a hug or even a handshake (especially if you are a woman), but make eye contact and be receptive to any questions he may pose to you. Best of luck!